How I Ask

The Seventh Step is one of the most important in my recovery. Every Step is crucial, of course, but Step Seven holds a special place in my heart. For me, it is the realization of a miracle.

I ask my HP, whom I call God, to remove my resentments, fears, drivenness, and obsession with control (or illusions of control), and he does for me what I cannot do for myself. I am not able to remove anything from myself. I cannot by myself become a better person—kinder, less self-seeking, less me-oriented—or get rid of my shortcomings, but “There is One who has all power—that One is God. May you find Him now!” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., p. 59). By his grace alone, I have been found by him and can humbly ask him to remove my shortcomings.

How I ask is equally important. I cannot ask with the wrong motives, thinking I’m doing something great; I cannot ask so I can look down my nose at others who still suffer. Nor can I ask, as I used to do, to be able to eat however I want. I also cannot ask thinking I am the worst person to ever walk the earth. I must ask with humility, knowing I am no better or worse than anyone else. My shortcomings, all my errors, are just that—errors. It does not mean I am an error or mistake. It means I am a human being with a lot of frailties and brokenness, in need of a Higher Power who can do for me what I could never, ever do for myself: Take away my shortcomings and replace them with the development of true character.

I have found as I work Step Seven that the disease of compulsive overeating is arrested. What causes me to want to overeat (pain, discontent, or boredom) is truly dealt with in the first six Steps, then released in Step Seven. I get to be honest about my weaknesses and blind spots and know that my HP delights in removing them. The experience of releasing bitterness, fears, and rebellion is such a relief to my spirit. I don’t have to self-protect when people hurt me (often, what I call injury is just another person’s boundaries) or hurt myself with food. Even if the problem is something like boredom, which is really me being dissatisfied or slothful with what life offers, I can bring it to God. In any situation, I can ask for my shortcomings to be removed and life can begin to flow again: abundant life, with peace, joy, contentment, and serenity—all bountiful gifts from a loving God.

— Achlaï, Winston-Salem, North Carolina USA