All Human

I was enjoying a new relationship with a sponsor, and everything seemed to be going very well. I was preparing to do Step Five when it occurred to me that I might feel more comfortable doing this Step with a different person, someone other than my sponsor. I mentioned this to my sponsor in an email, but something I said (I may never know exactly what) or the way I said it must have been very hurtful, although this was not my intention in the least. The response that I got was to be fired as a sponsee. I was devastated.

Fortunately, I didn’t keep my feelings to myself; I reached out to a few other OA members. I received the support I needed and was encouraged to find another sponsor as soon as possible. Higher Power works in mysterious ways, and it turned out that finding a new sponsor was very helpful. I was so glad I did it promptly, instead of being intimidated about trying again with another person.

The new sponsor was someone I felt very comfortable with, who had many years of program and was accustomed to being a sponsor. I asked to be told right away if I unknowingly did or said anything hurtful in any way, and I made sure the new sponsor would be comfortable discussing this with me.

I learned from this experience. We are all human in this program and in life. We may inadvertently hurt someone, but it is never too late to make amends.

When the holidays came around, I realized I was still feeling uneasy about what transpired with the first sponsor. I wanted to tell that person just how upsetting it was for me that we never discussed the situation, that I was just dismissed instead. Then I remembered we are all fragile beings trying to recover from a serious disease. This led me to send a message of gratitude rather than pointing a finger and complaining. I sent a text thanking this person for all the care and support I received while I was being sponsored. To my surprise, I got a friendly and warm response and a happy holiday wish.

I will always remember how HP had me go through this experience to learn some important lessons. Sometimes the most painful experiences teach us the most.

—Anonymous