All the Difference

I have been in program for nine months. I was given the gift of abstinence on the day I set foot in my first meeting, October 15, 2015, but this is probably because I waited so long (years) to obey the prompt to actually go to a meeting. I knew no one in OA, but from the name, I knew that the program would require great humility. I did not have humility for much of my life.

In these past nine months, I have not lost a pound (half kilogram). I did not have to. While I am a compulsive overeater, I am also an exercise addict and a controller. So I always exercised or starved myself to make up for whatever I ate. My life and my eating were insane.

Before OA, I put myself above others, and I judged my friends who were addicts or who had different sexual preferences than I did. I wanted to be recognized, yet I isolated myself. I pointed my finger at others whenever anything went wrong in my life.

After reading Tradition Twelve in a recent meeting, I realize how much OA has changed me. I know why I feel such an overwhelming sense of peace when I step into a meeting—any meeting. I know we are all on equal footing and I am no better or worse than anyone else. OA has allowed me to be free from my isolation by giving me a family who knows me and loves me anyway.

I have lost my desire to climb the ladder; I am at peace without needing to be famous. I have learned from others whose religious and sexual preferences are different from mine and in a way I never was able to hear before.

Life, for me, is better in recovery because I am actually living it now. I am loving, both toward myself and my fellows, and that has made all the difference.

—Kimi