How OA Changed My Life Living Proof By admin Posted on June 26, 2016 4 min read 0 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Share on Reddit Share on Pinterest Share on Linkedin Share on Tumblr Autumn forest in deep autumn. Golden fall. Horizontal orientation. Landscape mode I came into this program over twenty years ago. My disease didn’t show in my body—I looked “normal,” whatever that was. But I was not living, just going through the motions of life. I felt an awful emptiness, and no amount of food ever filled that black hole. At times I wished some horrible accident would remove me from this existence. It really was a living hell. I didn’t need to lose vast amounts of weight, but I am still losing hundreds of pounds . . . between my two ears! It took many years for me to fully understand and want to follow this program, yet I had nowhere else to go. I knew I’d come home, but even now, I doubt whether I’m really living the program. I’m glad to be reminded that I do it to the best of my ability, while HP does the rest. I just have to be willing. Pride, perfectionism, and lots of other “isms” have dogged me all my life. This program offers me freedom and a path to follow. Even if I stumble, get stuck, doubt, and avoid, it will always be here waiting. I’m now aware that I can be addicted to anything. I used to think I had to put people in their place. I pray for balance now and try not to react. I pause, take time out, hand it over, and move on. What’s so important for me now is: to hand over my day on a daily basis; to ask for guidance and direction; to read literature daily, meditate, and be willing; to believe that everything is happening exactly as it’s meant to be; and to take life on life’s terms. I used to feel that life and people were out to get me. Now I look at my part and say sorry when necessary. I pray for balance and accept that I have a disease. I am on a spiritual journey, an amazing one, priceless. I’m amazed I’ve written this as I hate writing and avoid it at all costs. I’m so thankful to this program, the meetings, my friends, and everyone in OA. Having literature and Lifeline is helping me understand this disease. I can honestly say I’m now living, not just existing! — Anonymous
