Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Share on Reddit Share on Pinterest Share on Linkedin Share on Tumblr In recovery, I have freedom from: pretending to be a normal eater and wishing people would just go away so I could eat using all celebrations as an excuse to binge eating secretly as I baked, prepared, and served food—and continuing to eat long afterward squeezing into only a few select pieces of clothing (usually with elasticized waistbands) making commitments I could not keep trying to force myself to be good enough to deserve the God of my childhood, but feeling over and over that I’d failed him eating food just to please people trying to be perfect and never ever getting there having constant voices in my head calling me “good” or “bad” depending on my weight and food choices manipulating restaurant decisions in order to diet or binge trying never to feel angry or unhappy getting on and off the scale, sometimes up to four times a day trying to run away from myself when I found myself alone focusing on the negative and finding fault struggling never to feel uncomfortable or disturbed—but inevitably feeling uncomfortable and disturbed most of the time In recovery, I have freedom to: openly express my eating needs and explain to people why I need to be abstinent celebrate special occasions abstinently without food being the main focus define and evolve a Higher Power of my own understanding, and feel loved and cared for instead of condemned and punished choose any piece of clothing from my wardrobe and know it will fit me from one day and one season to the next bake, prepare, and serve food without obsessing, only eating inside my food plan make and honor commitments and trust myself to do so politely refuse food not on my plan, putting my abstinence first be honestly and openly mistake making, imperfect, and human; and happily embrace being that way be free of mental obsession, one day at a time eat out abstinently, anywhere not even own a scale today and only infrequently weigh myself when I visit the doctor be at peace in my own company focus on the positive with an attitude of gratitude feel the full range of my emotions and express them appropriately be comfortable with the uncomfortable and feel peace amidst a disturbance — Heather E., Wellington, New Zealand