Finally Home

I am 62 years old and a recovering anorexic and bulimic.

After suffering from this disease since the age of 15, I reached my final bottom on June 2, 2014, and walked into an OA meeting in Warwick, New York. No one at the meeting looked like me. I immediately said, “They are judging me,” when in fact, I was doing the judging. Then I listened to the emotional pain in the sharing and heard the phrase, “Welcome to Overeaters Anonymous. Welcome home” (Overeaters Anonymous, 3rd ed., p. 5), and I knew I was in the right place.

I am 5 feet 6 inches (168 cm) tall, and when I came in, I weighed around 98 pounds (44 kg). I am currently maintaining a 10-pound (5-kg) gain, and I am not plagued with fear and anxiety about weight gain. I find total freedom in my food plan as well as committing my food to my sponsor daily. I go to meetings regularly. I write and read literature every day. I have gone through the Steps. I sponsor, and I am blessed to have continued abstinence since that first meeting.

When I attended a Region Six mini-marathon I did not know what to expect. I felt some anxiety, but as the day began, with the Serenity Prayer and a God of our understanding being brought into the room, I immediately remembered that I was home. A guided meditation brought about a feeling of peace and oneness. We all wore name tags with our names and a descriptive adjective, and it was fun to see how we identified ourselves. The shares were open and honest, and it felt like people were taking risks. A “letter to God” exercise was new to me, and one I plan to incorporate into my daily writing. Funny songs, adapted to our OA way of life, helped us all loosen up.

I would say that the bottom line for me is that I have a disease that wants me dead, but is also satisfied with separating me from you and God. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my experience with you. I am a grateful member of Overeaters Anonymous, and I am finally home.

— Dolores