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Mindful of Hope and Help

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Image by Ellen R.

I have been in OA for almost forty-three years. There was a release of 114 pounds (52 kg) within my first two years of program. I maintained that loss and gained serenity over the course of twelve years because I kept coming to the rooms and working my program, one day at a time. In subsequent years, I chose three different times to lose my recovery and abstinence and regain them again, with weight gains up to 90 pounds (41 kg) and losses up to 70 pounds (32 kg), but all the while I kept coming to OA meetings. I know that OA is the only way for me to deal with life on life’s terms.

Throughout 2018, several people whom I loved dearly died, and I lost my OA hope. I picked up a hope chip from my local meeting but lost it. When I shared in my weekly meeting that I lost that chip, a member gave me hers. Several weeks later, I found my original chip and returned the borrowed chip, expressing my sincere appreciation for the love and support that it gave me.

A few months later, I saw the items that hang on my bedroom wall differently.

I saw the word “HOPE” as “Higher Power stands between my Over Eating.” Several days later I saw two other meanings: “Higher Power stands Over Ellen” and “Higher Power stands Over Everything.” I removed my mask and allowed this newly restored feeling of hope into my heart, which reopened my mind.

Just like I would call roadside assistance for help with my broken down vehicle, I need to call my OA program for help. Here, the letter “A” comes to mind: Awareness of my disease, Acceptance that a Power greater than myself will guide me, and taking Action to use the Steps and Tools—my personal “triple A” of OA, for which I am grateful.

— Ellen

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