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Progress Report

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My favorite slogan is “Progress, not perfection,” from Chapter 5 of the Big Book. It says, “The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., p. 60).

When I joined OA four years ago, my character defects of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and fear of rejection were in full force. I believed that OA held the answer to my lifelong battle with compulsive overeating, and I am grateful that was true. However, my all-or-nothing approach found me throwing myself into the program in an unhealthy manner. I wanted to know the rules so I could follow them perfectly. I was on a quest to be crowned Miss OA. As I began to lose weight, I became an example; this program works if you work it, despite misdirected motivations.

Inside OA, I believed other members would love and accept me only if I was working the program perfectly. Outside OA, I believed if I lost enough weight, my life would be perfect. In hindsight, I can now accept that I had not turned my will and life over to the care of God as the Third Step suggests. I was still trying to control everything. Talk about self-will run riot! Of course my life was unmanageable, and needless to say, my reign as Miss OA did not last very long. I soon struggled with my abstinence, and this led to a predictable relapse. I had moved to another state for work, so unfortunately it was easy for me to leave OA unnoticed.

Having tried and failed a number of weight-loss programs in the past, I felt this was another failure to add to the list. But after six months away from the program, I felt my Higher Power encouraging me to give it another go. I humbly came back with my tail between my legs. This time I chose recovery—not as a way to lose weight to feel “good enough”—but as a way to gain a spiritual life I wanted, a life free from the burden of perfectionism and the pain of trying to satiate my feelings of inadequacy with food.

I am grateful to be an abstinent member of OA, with the serenity and joy that comes with it. I have learned I don’t have to be perfect to have you love and accept me, because “it is weakness, not strength, that binds us to each other” (Overeaters Anonymous, Third Edition, p. 4). I have also learned to be more honest in my sharing, and I now acknowledge I can’t do it on my own. I humbly accept your help and the help of my Higher Power.

Today I can live in the comfortable knowledge that none of us is perfect, but we are progressing as we continue to surrender to God and follow the loving suggestions of this wonderful program. Keep coming back!

— Michelle D., Canberra, Australia

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