Spiritual Nourishment

Before I came to OA, I thought I was the most confident 33-year-old out there. I had a great full-time job, a boyfriend, dog, my own apartment, and a car. Yet, I could not stop eating those binge foods.

Then, I lost my ability to diet and kept gaining weight. I was a size 26 and had tried everything from diet programs to overexercising and starving my body.

I cried and cried at my first OA meeting and felt full of shame and guilt. I got my first temporary sponsor that same day. I did what she suggested and worked my way through my first set of Steps.

Now, seventeen years later, my life has changed tremendously. First and foremost, I have developed a relationship with God/HP and know that God was the missing piece in my life. I found out that the people, places, and things in my life, like a job, boyfriend, car, and apartment, did not give me the spiritual nourishment I was thirsting for. (Except for my dog— she was there through the ups and downs of me finding my way. It’s no mistake that d-o-g spells God backwards.)

Through working the Steps and with my Higher Power’s help, I was able to get out of abusive and addictive relationship patterns. God presented me with many people in OA plus outside help for this. I did not have a date for seven years. I was so content and happy among my wonderful Twelve Step friends that it didn’t bother me not to be dating. This opened the door for me to meet a wonderful, loving man and a marriage I cherish daily.

I still come to meetings, work the Steps, and give service. I don’t work the program perfectly and probably never will, and I’m okay with that. I am currently a size 16 and not at my goal weight, but that doesn’t bother me either! That’s a miracle for me! I still struggle with the food sometimes. I am now coming up on one year of no recreational sugar, and I work Step Ten daily. I make amends right away, and that has been the biggest help for me with my abstinence this time around. Most of all, I don’t beat myself to a pulp when I mess up in life or with the food.

As my good friend in OA says, “My name is ____, and I’m a precious, lovable child of God!” This is something I’ve been saying to myself daily and in meetings when I remember to do it. My Higher Power loves me no matter what and wants only the very best for me.

Please remember in your journey that your Higher Power loves you no matter what and wants only the best for you! Thank you, OA!

— S.N.