Trust and Enjoy

At a meeting today, a member shared that another OA member with many problems had committed suicide. That share prompted others to share about the importance of working the program, doing what works, trusting that process, and walking in action, no matter how we feel.

This week has been a challenge, but it’s amazing how God works in my life when I’m spiritually fit to heed his guidance. I worked my Tenth Step by evaluating my abstinence, exercise, self-care, care of others, emotional state, and things for which I should be grateful. I realized I needed to make two amends, but I chose not to take action—and experienced some tough emotions. Those unmade amends felt like hot grits stuck to the walls of my mind. As a result, other things started to pile up in my emotional suitcase. I was in one funky mode! Everything bothered me, until I finally surrendered and made the amends.

Yet another day arose filled with challenges. I could have chosen to act in a way that would later require more amends, but I didn’t—I was back on track, spiritually and emotionally. When I took a Tenth-Step inventory this morning, I realized how well I had handled potentially explosive situations with God’s aid. I always asked for God’s help with the next best thing to do. My mind said of God, “Hey, greater is he that is in me . . . maybe I don’t need as many meetings now; maybe my spiritual connection with God is so strong that I can just rely on him.” It was right after that stinking thinking that I walked into the meeting where news of the suicide and the need for program was shared. God is good.

During that meeting, I remembered when I was suicidal because of my inability to handle life on life’s terms. When I first joined OA, I felt the program was not yielding the results I wanted when I wanted them, so I was ready to give up. Today, I thought about stopping my attendance at meetings. I thought maybe I didn’t need them anymore because I could handle challenges without picking up food or suffering an emotional outburst. But I realize I still need help and a daily reprieve. Meetings are a part of what frees me from compulsive eating. Meetings are a gift God has given me through OA.

The bottom line is that I should trust the process, even when I feel like I don’t need to work the Steps; ask God for help; take action; talk to my sponsor; read literature; or share my experience, strength, and hope with those who still suffer. I must not stop doing what has yielded serenity in the midst of challenge and helped me maintain emotional balance and a 118-pound (54-kg) weight release.

The next step is to enjoy the process. My sponsor shared her grandmother’s philosophy that one should do two things in life: get eight hours of rest every day and enjoy the process. When I enjoy something, I look forward to it and make sure I find time to do it. It’s in my best interest to enjoy the process of recovery, because it’s a lifesaver!

— Anonymous, Georgia USA