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Astounded and Amazed

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I believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity because it has been proven to me over and over in so many situations. Moreover, I believe that only a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity because I never could stick with any plan of eating when I was relying on my own Power. Even when I lost weight three years ago, the compulsive patterns eventually returned, my compulsive overeating resumed, and the weight came back.

Now it’s going on three months since I took a compulsive bite, and I’m astounded and amazed at what has happened to me: I no longer have to abuse myself with food. I don’t crave anymore. Somehow I don’t obsess about food anymore. Somehow I don’t eat when I’m not hungry. I have been restored to sanity, and I believe this is a miracle that could only have been granted by my Higher Power.

Compulsive overeating has caused a lot of pain and hardship in my life. Stuffing down my feelings with food rather than feeling them caused negative emotions to get bottled up inside and never allowed me to release them.

Now that my food is clean, I don’t have the blood sugar spikes or emotional swings I used to feel daily. I don’t have added guilt and self-hate for abusing my body and being overweight. As the weight comes off, so does the emotional burden I’ve been carrying. Plus, I feel good about myself for being kind to myself. I’m kind to myself by going to exercise class twice a week now, which I never used to do. I’m kind to myself by donating the pants that are too big for me now. I am kind to myself every time I keep coming back to OA.

I know this transformation could not have come about without the help and strength I have received from my Higher Power. I know I can’t do it on my own because any time in my life I tried, I always went back to my old ways of compulsive overeating. But this really does feel completely different, because for the most part, I’ve lost my cravings for bad food. For about five minutes earlier this week, I had cravings for the wrong things. I asked my Higher Power to take away my cravings, and within moments they were gone.

I know I can’t do this on my own because my own willpower has failed me every time—consistently and predictably. Just as consistently and predictably, I know that my Higher Power can restore me to sanity.

— Rachel D., Delray Beach, Florida USA

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