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Willing Is Filling

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Posted on May 1, 2019
4 min read
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Higher Power has graced me with this realization: in our lifesaving program, I’ve come to have a preference for certain Steps more than others! It is an uncomfortable awareness. I know that each and every Step has a purpose in my recovery and each and every one is part of a dynamic combination that covers every aspect of my life. So why do I tend to skip over Step Six?

My disease, in this moment, is trying to convince me that I’ve already taken Step Six and now can move on. The disease is assuring me that it is enough to say my Step Three Prayer (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., p. 63) in the morning because it also covers the Sixth Step. The disease is attempting, in its cunning way, to lead me to that first compulsive bite. Thank you, Higher Power, for being ever-present in my life and clueing me in to what’s going on. It is only with awareness that I can acknowledge what needs to be changed, accept that I have more work to do, and then act in the direction of progress.

This written reflection is part of the action I’m taking. It’s an attempt to deepen my relationship with Step Six, making it a full member of the team.

I was helped—oh, how these Tools support us in our journey!—by a sentence from our morning literature: “When I am willing, there is no void and all things are possible” (For Today, p. 20). Void. Emptiness. Nothingness. These words bring up a sensation from my past that might have been a push toward my obsession with food. I needed to be filled, soothed, and occupied—and my choices were unhealthy. Then, OA and God entered the picture. Since I have completed a “giving away” in Step Five, it is true that there is more space in my life. When I can fill that space with willingness, there is no need for compulsion. There is serenity.

Dear Step Six,
I am writing to make a living amend. I am sorry I have sometimes neglected you. I am grateful for you in my life. I commit to making you a greater part of every day. I pray for progress that I may be of greater service. Amen.

Sincerely,
Your OA friend

— K., Canada

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