Reframing the Puzzle

Some of my worst character defects come out when I’m at work. As a perfectionist, I worry that I’ll make a mistake, but I also worry that I work too slowly. So I end up anxiously trying to find that perfect balance between checking everything again and again and finishing quickly. When asked to review the work of others, my critical nature comes to the fore, identifying scores of things that I think should be changed. This conflicts with my desire to be liked by everyone all the time. I worry constantly about what others think of me. When a junior colleague excels, I worry that I’m not worth my higher salary. If another colleague shows particular talent and intelligence, I feel envious and diminished by comparison.

In Step Seven, we humbly ask for our shortcomings to be removed. The OA Twelve and Twelve, Second Edition tells us that “Genuine humility brings an end to the feelings of inadequacy, the self-absorption, and the status seeking. Humility . . . places us neither above nor below other people on some imagined ladder of worth. It places us exactly where we belong, on an equal footing with our fellow beings” (p. 52).

One day I found a mental image that, to me, perfectly illustrates this idea. I see myself as one piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Each piece of this puzzle is beautiful, brightly colored, and uniquely shaped, fitting together perfectly with the pieces around it. I’m not made less by the pieces around me, but only enhanced, and all of us are needed to make up the whole. This image reminds me that I cannot fulfill my own role in life by wishing I was more like others and being filled with insecurity and envy; I can only do my part by using all the skills and talents I have to offer— and being glad when others do the same.

— Sharon, Cheltenham, United Kingdom