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Shift Change

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“Our path in OA transcends weight loss and a return to emotional health.” Seeking the Spiritual Path

A change of attitude toward a Higher Power and a few simple actions were vital in changing my life. Whether I liked it or not, it was having faith in a Power greater than myself and developing that spiritual relationship that saved me from my compulsion.

In order for me to change, my attitude toward my Higher Power needed to become a trusting one. Faith that there is something greater than myself out there that loves me gave me some initial hope for change. But when I believed this Higher Power to be a judging, punishing, shaming entity, I couldn’t make much progress; I’d feel nothing but shame and guilt when I thought of it.

My true Higher Power doesn’t judge me. He loves me and is there for me when I honestly seek contact with him. I’m like a child in a play onstage, fudging up my lines, but my Higher Power is never mad at me; he’s always loving and understanding. He has presented me with things and situations in my life that have allowed tremendous growth in my character development and my soul.

To shift to this positive attitude, I had to start thinking of this Power as something safe, comforting, caring, forgiving, and all-inclusive—not judging, punishing, or shaming—which allowed me to be honest with myself and others without fear of being a bad person or deserving nothing good. Shifting my attitude so that a Power greater than myself could be a loving entity regardless of what I’d done allowed me to be myself, hopelessness and all. This allowed me to begin a solid foundation of recovery built on truth and love, as opposed to shame, guilt, or fear. Before program, I was hopeless and spiritually dying. Living the ideas in my head was killing me, making me suffer, and rippling out to all those I cared about too.

In order to nurture my attitude change, I had to take baby steps to build on that foundation and set changes in my life into motion. I needed to be willing to pray and meditate and become actively grateful for the good things in my life. I started writing a gratitude list every night, which shifted my perspective. When my perspective of the things I had in my life and my perspective of a Power greater than myself shifted, my life began to change.

The truth is, my ideas didn’t work and the God idea did. I had to change my attitude and begin to take small simple actions to allow the God idea to take effect.

Emily D.

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