Relationships Feeling Present By admin Posted on August 1, 2017 3 min read 0 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Share on Reddit Share on Pinterest Share on Linkedin Share on Tumblr We buried Bibs today. He was almost 20 years old. Bibs helped me with my OA program in death and in life. Alive, he opened me to the insanity of my anger at his being a cat, insistent about being fed on his schedule, not mine. Writing about my anger, I discovered I was angry about my own food plan. It turned out that when I’d eliminated dairy from my food plan, I’d lost too much weight too fast, and my dieting reflex was triggered. This gave rise to cravings, so I was angry about my own hunger and need for food. Discussing this with my sponsor helped me adjust my food plan to eliminate the cravings. When I had Bibs euthanized, I began sobbing as the preliminary anesthetic took hold and he lost consciousness. A few minutes after his death, I wanted a drink and a bakery dessert. My first thought was that this craving was reasonable, but the conflict with my food plan helped me realize I was trying to run away from my grief. Prompt surrender of these compulsive thoughts to my HP allowed me to be both present for Bibs’ death and grateful that he was an important part of my life. The miracle here is that Bibs was important to me. As a child, I never had pets, and I’d grown up with no sense of bonding with animals. My spiritual and emotional recovery through working OA’s Twelve Steps gave me the capacity to feel and accept my feelings in ways I couldn’t before coming to OA. My ability to feel grief is balanced by my ability to experience joy. I am so very grateful to my OA program for the gifts of feeling and being present for all life has to offer now. — Anonymous
